Dear everything Christian:
I’m talking to you blogs and magazines and books and television shows (?) and whatever else you attack me in.
We need to talk…
About how much you talk about marriage.
I’m breaking up with you, ironically.
Because you’re stressing me out.
It seems like you’re trying to convince me that love is going to magically find me without any of my own effort. You have me convinced men are never afraid of anything and will always pursue me when they have an interest in me. You have me convinced a perfect Prince Charming is what I need to be looking for.
The only problem is, he’s not real…
I really do appreciate what you’re trying to do. You want me to have a Godly marriage and I’m SO glad that’s an option. But it’s not going to be a perfect marriage. You want me to date Christian guys and look for marriage material in them, which is also great. But still not perfect. And looking at guys and saying, “Wow, we’ll either break up or get married,” is CREEPY, and also stressful and terrifying.
I’m actually pretty scared about relationships and commitment and trusting someone else so much and becoming one and all that stuff. Don’t tell me it’s perfect. Tell me it’s scary. Tell me it’s hard. Tell me mistakes are going to be made by Christians and non-Christians alike. Tell me the truth.
And stop telling me I’m for sure going to find love. I want to and I have hope that I will and it’s gonna be great. But I feel like if something happens and God decides I’m never supposed to fall in love, my whole world will fall apart. I won’t feel complete because the world and the Internet keep telling me I’m supposed to find a Godly man to marry.
The outlook of marriage isn’t great for me right now. But there’s nothing wrong with me. Also, I haven’t even turned twenty and the idea of marriage just seems so far away. Which is why you give me ten thousands tips on Christian dating. Okay. No more checklists, please, because no boy I come across will ever meet every high standard he’s supposed to meet.
Maybe instead of focusing SO MUCH on human relationships, you can tell me why Jesus is the only relationship I actually need and the only one that will actually fulfill something in my life. It’s the only love that is, without a doubt, perfect. It’s something I can trust and something I can go into without fear.
Marriage is biblical and wonderful and amazing and exciting and all kinds of things. I support it and I love it.
But Jesus is better.