change of the seasons

I have every excuse for not posting regularly like I literally just said I would start doing. My computer won’t transfer my photos from my iphone to my storage device thingy, for one. Two, I’m tired.
I’m just really tired. This post has a double meaning. Because fall is on its way. And me, summer, girl all about puns and named after a season… I am changing.
Maybe it’s the fall air coming in and that’s it. Maybe it’s starting a new job. Maybe it’s seeing my best friends (aka old coworkers) less. Maybe it’s approaching my one year new york anniversary and my one year marriage anniversary.
It finally hit me that I graduated college and that I’ll never be able to go back to undergrad or experience school as I once did.
I miss college. I left on a weird note and that made graduating a little bit easier. Then, a lot of stuff was going on in the months right after graduation. Shoutout to one of my close (but very far away geographically, sad face) friends for pointing that out to me.
Now I miss everything. I miss my friends. I even miss the work. I miss learning. I miss classrooms and professors. Especially my favorite professors that I keep meaning to email and keep forgetting…
I wish I’d spent more time with people. And I wish I’d remember to text those people now.
Now that things in the city are starting to feel routine, I think all the change I went through is finally hitting me. I think this is what growing up is really about and I’m not a really huge fan just yet.
I guess I don’t have a huge point in writing this, but that’s fine. Sometimes I just need to write. To figure things out. To make sure we all know we aren’t alone and we aren’t crazy for having feelings.
For the first time I’m having those thoughts about “the good old days.” And even though I’m still in some very good days, it’s hard to remember. Hopefully I’ll be able to appreciate it NOW and not years down the road. We’ll see. Anybody else feel me on this? Is there a trick I’m missing?
For now I’ll just remain bittersweet. I’m so thankful to have people and memories worth the pain of leaving. To have good times to remember and miss.  To know that one day I’ll look back on the life I’m living now and feel the very same way. Living is confusing, huh? here’s to change. Bring on the cold fall and all the stuff that comes with it.

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