I drafted a post for my first wedding anniversary. I had planned to tell you all about my first year of marriage and, in my infinite one year of marriage wisdom, tell you what I learned. But, as a true artist, I just wasn’t feeling it that day. Instead I wrote a poem about how I cried with M about how fearful I was of the future. So anyway. Today I decided to be thankful for my marriage and my home… in the form of this blog post.
There’s no special milestone today. Just a lot of memories. And it has also hit me that we are going to be moving out of our first home together in just a few months! (Not renewing the lease, maybe looking for a new apartment, idk don’t ask me about this yet okay) And the sun is out, which I’ve missed so dearly this winter.
Our time together so far and been so much more than just us. It’s been multiple job changes. It’s been traveling. It’s been driving in New York City without crying. It’s been living in our first, but not forever, home. It’s been finding a church and trying to stay committed to it. It’s been so much television. It’s been waking up to construction every day at 7 a.m. sharp. It’s been friends! So many good friends.
We have also fought a lot and cried a lot and been bored a lot. We chose not to write our own vows at the wedding because they probably would’ve all been broken by now. So vowing to never have a dull moment together, never hating each other, never making selfish decisions… yeah those would’ve all been lies lol am i right
The worst part about having a married fight in the city is that there’s really nowhere to hide. I can’t be a baby and slam the bedroom door because it doesn’t lock. And I can’t take a walk and be alone because there’s people everywhere. Once I took a walk and my persistent husband chased me down the street so we could make up (good decision). Luckily, this hasn’t happened too often. Mostly we fight about “can you PLEASE pick up your clothes from next to the bed when the laundry is right there??” and “why do you use so many dishes?????” Because laundry and dishes are difficult when you do not have a dishwasher and you share laundry with 20 other units. Anyway.
I always thought we would fight so much during our first year of marriage, but I think the task of moving to a new city right away really helped us bond and communicate openly immediately. (Though he may tell you I’ve never had a problem communicating things that bug me…) Don’t people say the first year is the hardest? I don’t know if I believe that. Anyone wanna weigh in? I’m more afraid of the future than of the now, ya know?
We’ve built such a little home here together, metaphorically and physically. Our home is my favorite thing about us so far. I will say I handled most of the decorating. He contributed an Elvis calendar for 2017, but that is sadly gone now. Our home represents who we are as musicians, coffee people, readers, travelers. Before we move out, I’ll share pictures of my favorite things about it. And my not so favorite things.
This building is over 100 years old and you can tell. Foundational cracks are everywhere, man. We get mice and I cry if I have to deal with them when they die and bleed out on the kitchen floor underneath the stove UGH. Again… no dishwasher, yet I love cooking. Never-ending construction!! Three floor walk up, which I actually really like, but when we brought a carload of stuff from North Carolina during the holidays… M had fun with that while it took me 40 minutes to find a parking spot. This city and our home are so inconvenient sometimes, but I love them and I love sharing it with a husband and I love opening our home to our friends.
This apartment has been the designated hangout for our core friend group. I’ve hosted two southern meals for my northern friends to enjoy and obviously they loved it. (chicken and dumplings, greens, livermush, grits, biscuits… mmm) We’ve hosted friendsgivings and movie nights that end up turning into sharing food, drinks and many laughs.
More than anything, I’m so thankful for the people that have come through my door. I could cry. I’m so thankful. Our living room has played bedroom/hotel to so many friends. I told M from the beginning that I wanted our home to be open, always. We had a friend live with us for an entire month while she found a new lease. We pump up this air mattress at least once a month, sometimes twice for someone else we love to sleep on it. We have had friends from North Carolina, Italy, Arkansas, Texas and Australia sleep here. We have more coming next month and the one after that. And we always share our crappy coffee.
And even though it’s miserably hot during the warm months and freezing during the winter (because obviously we can’t control our own heat, why would we be able to do that), and even though sometimes I am so bored and trapped in here I could die, I love this home and the family this city has given me.
For the last few months, I’ve hated New York. But hating New York is what it took for me to finally say, without a doubt, I love this city with my whole heart and soul. And if you ever need a place to sleep… we’ve got a home for you.